New Year Style Resolutions
Well of course I resolve to drink less, exercise more, watch less TV, spend more quality time, be nicer, kinder, happier, more patient, less psychotic and … blah blah blah. Urgh.
Whatever it is that people resolve every New Year to do. Then promptly forget about by Valentines Day.
Which is why I don’t usually make resolutions.
But this year, is different.
This year, I have Style Resolutions.
I hereby resolve to detox my wardrobe, overhaul my style and get back my fashion mojo. Why?
Because, dammit, I’m sick of throwing on the same old peanut butter (?) stained jeans with the safety pins holding up the hem and the top marked with texta that won’t come off.
And feeling like something that cat sicked up on. Because that was actually The Baby.
This year I will keep searching under the rug, down the back of the couch amongst the half eaten rice cakes, out in the dogs kennel with the lego, at the back of the cupboard past my old size 8 hotpants, high and low, and I. Will. Find. My. Style. Mojo.
As God is my witness, I’ll never wear thongs out in public again.
I WILL find the ultimate flat shoe.
And as soon as I do, I promise to then only wear my Havianas to the beach, where they belong.
I WILL reclaim all my bangles, bracelets and cuffs from the various toy boxes, drawers and hidey holes around the house. My jewellery will no longer be used as a magic teleporter to an alternate universe where fairies and tigers reign supreme (although that would be nice sometimes).
My “good” handbags will be emptied of all dollies, dragons, wands, clackers Tombliboos and harmonicas. Those named Prada, Gucci and Louis will be shrouded in their protective velvet cloaks and stored with The Special Things Goblins Cannot Touch.
I will go shopping. Alone. In a real store, and try on real clothes and discuss the finer points of double stitching with real sales assistants (who couldn’t care less, but whatevs). I will buy carefully considered, on trend and co-ordinated outfits that cleverly work back with my existing crappy wardrobe to make it suddenly look all fabulous, and me look two sizes smaller.
My toothbrush shall have a toothbrush holder and it will always be put back. I will always be able to find it there. Where it lives. In it’s place.
The Wardrobe will no longer operate as a Bermuda Triangle where lost relics of The Arc jumble sale convene. It shall be re programmed to operate as Carrie’s walk in closet and automatically reject any item not currently “on trend” or “fabulous”.
Alice The Maid shall commence lifelong employment in our household. She will refuse to accept financial reward for her “work”. She will happily wash, fluff, fold, iron and hang articles of clothing all day long.
At night, she will indulge her passion for Babysitting. Often.
Okay, okay so maybe I am getting a bit carried away now.
I will insist Alice is paid something for the joy of Babysitting.
I declare 2013… the year of the Glamour Mama!
What are your New Years Style Resolutions?